Moods and Characters

Ivan’s Wife has been an interesting story to write but with more edits than others. I started wondering why this morning and realized it wasn’t a question I needed to dwell on for long— it was the characters. They are multi dimensional and have so many mood changes. Not that much different than my own life at times. 

In this scene, the main character comes home from an extended stay in the hospital expecting a confrontational reaction from his wife. Her reaction throws him, creating doubt and confusion, which throws him off balance. So, now there are two characters in the story struggling with “how to feel.”

The sun, playing hopscotch behind the clouds, gave the air a sullen quality. My heart raced as I turned and watched Elena swagger toward me, her eyes narrowed and set on mine, her lips slightly parted. Her stride was edgy and deliberate, which made me wonder just how deeply she’d planned to wound me. No one could cut me into pieces like my wife—and I had it coming.

Instead of facing me, she stood behind me. It was an odd thought, I know, but I couldn’t help but reflect on a book I’d read about a battle between Russia and Germany and how the Germans attacked Russian forces from the rear. Elena was quiet; the only sound was an occasional hum as if she might be scoping her prey. This was not the homecoming I’d pictured, not even close. It took all my strength not to flip around and ask why she wasn’t giving me her usual chilly attitude along with a few choice words about my stay in the mental hospital. 

Her peculiar reaction to my release threw me off balance. What had she been doing while I was getting probed and zapped in the asylum? How did Ivan play into the picture, and what the hell did he mean when he told her to remember what they had talked about? I wanted to know but hadn’t earned the right to ask

I love the characters in the story, they are harder to write than Pages in the Wind, because they are so unpredictable. Again, all too often a mirror to the erratic nature of life.

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Writing the Hard Stuff

Ivan’s Wife is heading toward the finish line. The characters have been fun to write and sometimes heartbreaking. In this later chapter, Dimitri faces his death with unexpected courage. He has certainly evolved from the first draft—in a pleasing way—at least to me. In this excerpt, Dimitri is in a Soviet hospital heading to the toughest prison in Russia: 

It was a march through hell. The clink of the metal shackles dragging on the cement floor was the only sound. The hallway stunk of ammonia and old pipes. The rooms were empty; the only inhabitants seemed to be the nurses and guards. Hadn’t seen a single patient. That made me wonder if this was a place Ivan had set up for my execution. Maybe I wasn’t on my way to the showers at all. Couldn’t help wonder if I might be headed for the dead end room the nurse had talked about. Maybe Ivan just wanted to get my death over with. 

Logically, I should be shaking, pleading, hyperventilating, and coming out of my skin. But I wasn’t. I was pissed. Furious. My body stiffened, and I held my head up. Yeah, I was held captive and bound in chains, but I felt strong. Fueled by outrage and a shitload of anger. I never hurt anyone. Never cheated on my wife. I always opened the door for a woman and remembered my manners. I never took a penny from anyone that I hadn’t earned. The sorrow on a child’s face made me cry. The creases on an elder’s face and the weariness in their stride made me want to talk to them. Yes, I drank to excess, did drugs, and abused myself. I did. But the only person I never loved was myself. 

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